006: Kelly - The Lesbian Lifestyle

Today we are joined by Kelly from The Lesbian Lifestyle – a blog that is written by women, for women, and about women. This site gives insights into the real-life stories of lesbians around the world, and offers readers the opportunity to see just how alike and sometimes different they are to each other.

TLL focuses on many issues, from burning topics of the day to the innermost fears and feelings of its writers. One thing is for sure, TLL is bringing female same-sex love and attraction to the digital world and many people like to read and participate.

BV: Kelly, thanks for spending some time with me to answer a few questions for my readers. I'm sure everyone is interested in hearing your take on being a lesbian in the digital world. You are in charge of the admin for TLL… I imagine you must get a lot of mail from women explaining how your site has helped them (be it helping them work through feelings they may be unsure about or other pressing issues). How does it feel to know that you are helping women discover themselves, thereby empowering them to be confident about their sexuality?

We all strive for self-discovery at some point in our lives. I think it's most important for people who question their sexuality to have as many outlets as possible. Especially in a world where they will hear it's wrong or immoral on TV, at their church, and many times from their family. The internet brought me together with other lesbians in my area and I wanted to give back.

TLL is a blog that can be visited by anyone from anywhere. It's a place where a teenage girl who has a crush on her best friend can read the posts and learn she's not alone. It's a place where a middle-aged woman who has always struggled with her sexuality can see that there are other women out there, just like her. TLL is a place where I hope many come to find out, and take comfort in the fact, that they are not alone.

BV: TLL deals with many issues lesbians face today. Self-injury, same-sex marriage, assholes (erm… that's people who aren't nice and who you should avoid) and many others. Is there a common struggle that lesbians around the world face, and if there were, what would you like to see done about it?

I think the struggle for acceptance is a stuggle for everyone. You don't have to like me, you don't have to agree with me, but don't think that you are better or deserve more than me. I fear that the issue with acceptance will be around for a long time. One of the initial goals when I created TLL was to show people that lesbians are just like anyone else. There are several stereotypes in the GLBT world. I challenge your readers to take a look at a few posts on TLL and see if they can find a little piece of themselves in the sentiments. Love is love, pain is pain, and loss is loss.

BV: It's unfortunate, but people who live their lives in an 'alternative lifestyle', particularly in western culture, can sometimes be ousted or marginalised. Do you find the same type of prejudice in the blogging world, or are bloggers a completely different kettle of fish?

TLL has been happy to live in its own little bubble. Those who want to read the blog know where to find it. Those who aren't into lesbian-themed blogs know how to avoid us. As the admin of the blog, I have experienced nothing but support from fellow bloggers and hope it continues.

BV: Last year you ran The Best Lesbian Blog of 2006 Awards. Do you plan to hold these again this year and if you are, what can you tell me about the importance of holding these types of awards?

Yes, I have decided to make the award an annual event. There are lots of weblog awards out there. They have gotten huge with vast voting pools and dozens of categories. There's nothing wrong with this, but there’s something to be said for getting an award from a blog that is authored and read by mainly lesbians, when you yourself consider your blog to be a mainly lesbian blog. We'll keep on keepin' on with the award just like we have with the blog. "If you create an award icon people will vote." Feel free to quote me on that one!

BV: You must read loads of blogs, websites and other online media about sexuality and lifestyles, so if someone is struggling with their sexuality – particularly women, what advice would you give them and are there any websites or blogs that you would recommend?

The greatest advice that I could ever give anyone is that their heart will never lie. If you feel love for someone, whether it's a man or woman, it is a gift. Don't ever let someone make you feel bad for listening to your heart and not wanting to give back your gift.

I think online communities and message boards are the best way to meet people online. Most major cities have GLBT newspapers that are in print and/or online. Newspapers are a great resource to find out about events in one's local area. TLL is a great place to start. The blog has a substantial amount of links to other blogs written by lesbians. I would also recommend HRC.com, Planetout.com, and lesbianation.com.

BV: Kelly, thanks for taking the time to answer my questions... I'm sure your BloggerView has given many people an eye-opening insight into the power of blogs.

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