012: Dave - UK Copper

It's refreshing to read a blog that gives real-life accounts of the world the author lives in. There are many blogs on the net today that fluff about and create stories and embellish the truth to get readers, hits or publicity. David from UK Copper is not one of these authors.

His blog is a strikingly accurate and stinging account of the modern police force in the UK. His dry wit and humour has many people following his blog and his book Wasting Police Time has been released to rave reviews.

BV: Firstly Dave, thanks for joining me on BloggerView to answer a few of my questions. My brother used to be a copper here in Australia, and he told me part of the reason he left the force was that "I'm sick of dealing with the dregs of society". I've heard a few of his stories over a few beers and some of them make your hair curl.
Before you joined the force, were you aware the depths of degeneracy the human race can go to?

I wouldn’t like to say that I see degeneracy on a wide scale every time I go to work, it's more mundane than that. I suppose that before I joined the police, I thought that people called the police for more significant matters than they actually do. I certainly didn't think I'd be dealing with a bank robbery every day, I just thought I would be dealing with criminality, as opposed to stupidity. That said, I do see drug addicts and their way of life; the intravenous injection, the blagging, the begging and the thievery sickens me, as does the benign neglect of children whose parents are either too stupid or lazy to do their parental duty.

BV: As I mentioned earlier my brother joined the force. The reason he did was, he used to work at a petrol station and was held up at gunpoint during a graveyard shift. This obviously scared the shit out of him and he vowed to stop the types of people who did this. What was the conduit for you joining the force?

I wish I could say it was something dramatic. Sadly it wasn't. I worked in a big auto plant for many years and before that was at university. I had always been interested in crime and justice and the police were recruiting at that time, so I applied. I've always favoured an interesting job rather than a well-paid one (good job too).

BV: Your blog focuses on highlighting the sometimes-farcical red tape and rigmarole that the average UK copper has to go through in his line of duty. I'm sure most of my readers don't know what it's like to have your hands tied like this. What's it feel like to not be able to do your job properly because of this admin nightmare?

It's a massive shock when you join up, but I found a way round it - to actually embrace it and laugh about it. Seriously though, if I ever thought about it I would shudder, especially as up to 80% of my time is spent doing it. In the end you're a professional, so you do what's expected of you, even though you know it's a waste of time.

BV: For all the bad points about being a UK copper, there must be something that you love about the job? Can you share with me what that is?

Yesterday I had a fight with a drug dealer, found some drugs on him and sent him straight to jail. A few weeks ago I chased and caught someone stealing scrap metal from a workshop. I've successfully investigated frauds worth tens of thousands of pounds. I've helped people drive to locations by using my local knowledge. These are all things I enjoy doing and things that make the job worthwhile. It comes down to catching crooks and helping people - that's what is worthwhile. It doesn't have to be the crime of the century either.

BV: I have recently interviewed Stephen J. Dubner from Freakonomics and he said to me that the point in his book that created a lot of controversy was the correlation between the legalisation of abortions and a drop in crime rate. Do you think he may have a point here?

I haven't read the book, so I can't comment specifically on the theory, although the crime rate correlates to lots of things. My experience is that criminals commit crime for two reasons: 1- It's easier than working for a living and 2- You're unlikely to get caught and punished. So, if you're bone idle and have little regard for authority then I suppose you're more likely to break the law. Sadly, all of these theories about crime have little impact, I suppose you could say that the crime rate has risen along with the number of excuses experts dream up for those who commit it.

BV: If you could create a system to deal with crime quickly and efficiently, how do you imagine this working? Eye for an eye, bring back public floggings perhaps?

There are no easy answers unfortunately. We cannot deal with crime and simultaneously address the conflicting demands of on the one hand liberals who want fewer and easier punishments and most of the public who want criminals in jail more often and for longer. One thing's for sure though: you will not deter criminals by being easier on them.

BV: Between all the paperwork, enquiries and mundane daily grind of being a UK copper, there has to be a few thrills and spills. Has there ever been a point in your job where your adrenalin is running 110%... tell us about this day?

I caught a sex-offender once. Sadly, I can't go into too many details, but involved a foot chase and of all the people out and about looking for this guy, it was me who found him. There's nothing like the chase to make things all worthwhile. I also remember on one occasion running after a guy who had stolen a CD; we must have gone a mile or so before he gave up and when he did, I said, "Bloody hell mate, I hope you're tired 'cos I'm f***ing knackered."

BV: The police are here to stop crime; we know this, it’s part of our lives. The age-old question of how do we prevent crime comes up again and again by governments, family groups and other organisations. As someone who deals with crime and the people who perpetrate these crimes on a daily basis, what's one thing you think we as parents, bloggers and general punters could do to help you prevent crime or do your job better?

1. Your kids don't need expensive toys or holidays. They only need one thing: YOUR TIME.
2. Get married, buy your own house and don't get drunk too much.
3. Buy a gun.
4. Don't believe the government.

Thanks so much for joining us this week Dave, you’ve provided a fascinating insight into being a cop in the UK.

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If you liked this interview BloggerView also recommends:-
Steve Lacey - Random Thoughts
Stephen J. Dubner - Freakonomics
Drew - The Crochet Dude